I Can Change

April 15, 2010

This will probaly be one of the most personal post that I have ever written.  I am finally glad that I can write it.  I have found a new clarity within myself.  I am slowly becoming confident and strong.  I am emerging from the despair and pain that has been my life for sometime now.  I have learned a many new things.  I have grown in a many new ways.  I am all the wiser.  I have been blessed.

Life can take many turns.  I am sure that as a reader, you know this.  I hope you do know this.  If you do, than you too are all the wiser.  Life has been screaming at me for some time now.  I have neglected to listen.  Til now.  Things that I have taken for granted have been taken from me.  It has hurt me deeply.  It put me in such a state that it almost became unbearable.  I have pondered for a long time now as to why.  I may never know why life has taken this twist.  Maybe I am not supposed to.  I will never be sure.  But I do know this, there is hope for all of us.

The things that have been happening opened up feelings and sensory that I have long forgotten.  Maybe not forgotten, but I was so diluted that I failed to recognize them for sometime.  So maybe I have neglected life.  Maybe I am to blame for this twist.  Maybe the thing that has finally slapped me in the face is in fact the thing that I have needed the most to come to this conclusion.  I for a time have felt that life has taken the one thing that was held dear to me.  I have felt that life has been playing a sick joke on me.  I have thought that life could not be any more harsh.  Then came clarity

The clarity is this.  Life has removed something dear and precious to me, but for reasons.  Life wanted me to realize that I needed to change my ways.  Life wanted me to know that the path that I was taking was a destructive and nihilistic road of travel.  Life wanted me to open my eyes again.  I have finally come to the conclusion that I needed a new routine.  A new path.  An awakening within myself to step up to the plate and change my ways.  I have accepted this challenge and after sometime realized this,  life will take things that are dear to you and replace them with so much more.  Life will show you new paths.  New journeys.  As long as you are willing to make the changes within yourself for the better, life can give you back so much more.  I am glad to be myself again.

Dave Murphy, I love you.  I have not been on the internet trolling for new music in quite some time.  Believe it or not.  This is first song that I have heard this evening after logging on and doing some searching.  LCD Soundsystem has done it again.  This spoke volumes to me.  This one song has spoken to my heart.  Enjoy.

LCD Soundsystem – I Can Change